Below you will find REAL stories from my experience behind the stick. Many are contained in my book. I will also reveal some bartender pet peeves.
If you are a customer (in some bar situations customers/patrons are referred to as guests), here is some insight. If you have spent time on the other side of the bar, these will seem familiar. Most people have no idea what a bartender has to deal with. Hopefully, you haven’t been one of these people described below. Do not take offense! This article is meant to educate and inform, not denigrate, and is for fun purposes.
Some nights are long. Some nights are crazy. Some nights you are still smiling when your head hits the pillow.
A disgruntled customer who was cut off earlier in the night meeting me outside after my shift in a revving truck aimed in my direction.
Closing the bar and leaving at 2:30am to stumble upon a fight between one of your angry customers and a passer-by downtown. Hanging outside until the police arrived and making a statement and explaining that the customer was not intoxicated when he left the bar. Later found out that the customer was a medical doctor who was on heavy medication.
Watching a fellow bartender lean over an uncovered running blender wearing a tie and watching him turn blue and become horrified.
Wait staff walking behind the bar and pouring themselves drinks or making drinks without asking.
Being one of two bartenders who showed up to work on a four-person shift. That lone other bartender was inexperienced.
Working at an old place without a backup generator that would have power outages during storms that would disable the register, kill the fridges, water, lights, and fans. Customers had to be removed and reservations called and cancelled.
Walkouts! Who do you think pays the bill?
Being a couples therapist. mediator in relationship disputes, and a sounding board for everyone’s troubles at work and home. As a bartender, you are inevitably a counselor to poor souls. Overseeing a blind date can be an awkward situation.
Getting a request to make a drink that tastes pink. Making a drink with a very expensive Scotch and red bull. Hennessey Cognac with Vitamin Water, gin and milk with a splash of soda, tequila and diet coke, and many other bizarre drink concoctions.
I’ll take a dark wine or red wine. OK?
Make the drink strong. You assuming that I will under-pour. Will you pay for the extra alcohol? Hook me up, I’m a great tipper. I’ll take care of you later – hours later they left without paying your bill.
What is cheap here? Better to say, “Do you have any specials?”
Employees drinking at the bar on their off days and not tipping, especially during busy times.
Can I have a beer? How much are your drinks? Surprise me? Can you be more specific?
Do not help yourself to garnishes or pour yourself a draft beer when I head to the kitchen to pickup a food order.
Last call is last call.
I love to chat and get to know you but during a busy shift I don’t have time to listen to your life story.
When you want to order a drink, please don’t snap your fingers, whistle, yell barkeep, or wave your arms to get my attention. Eye contact, facing me, and slight hand gesture would suffice. Realize who is next in line to order.
Have your drink or drinks ready, especially for larger groups. If I am finally ready to take your order and you turn to ask your friends what they want, there is a good chance that i will be gone when you turn back around. Have your drinks ready.
I have a great memory as a bartender but it’s hard to hear over the noise sometimes and ordering more than 7 different drinks is difficult. Have your money or card ready or be prepared to give me a name for your tab. Sometimes other people in your group pays the bill.
Shout out a drink order when you haven’t been approached or I didn’t ask you for your drink order.
When I smile, greet you, and ask how you are doing, you say “Manhattan”. When ordering a Martini or Manhattan, please be prepared to specify how you like it, i.e. rocks, straight, gin, vodka, bourbon, blended whiskey, dirty, stirred, shaken, etc… Learn bar lingo.
Monopolize a bartender’s time. Sometimes we are busying answering phones, ringing in orders, doing cash transactions, making drinks for the whole restaurant, restocking, cutting garnishes, cleaning glasses, etc… We often get only 5 minutes to sit down and eat something during a 10-hour shift. The third time you sent me to get you condiments just took up my bathroom break. You will probably wait for next beer.
Cheers,
Michael Nagy
Food & Beverage Operations
Bar Professional